"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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