Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
