Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
