Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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