No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
