i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
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i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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