For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
