I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
