i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
