It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
