I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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