Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
