you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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