We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
