I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
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i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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