I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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