He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
