I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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