I should be sponsored by Trojan
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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