once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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