If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
