I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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