First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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