i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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