you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ketchup is God's man juice
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
