You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
