Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
