In the future we'll all be gay
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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