It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
