I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
