id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
