So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
