You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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