Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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