All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
