Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He did a backflip because drugs
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