i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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