I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
