Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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