So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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