every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
