On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
