did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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