Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
