I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
