I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
