Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize