I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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