I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
