I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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