It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
