the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
