JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
