guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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