god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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