let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
