Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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