A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
