this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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