So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
