this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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