i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.