Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
