I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?