So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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