and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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