Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize