By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
