Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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